3 Lights

March 22, 2010

Everyday i feel like a waste of everything, the slick of my life is being wasted. In the sense that I was never meant to be! this world I got! was never meant to be with me !help me or shelter me. What do I call myself? Lucky or just so so….I’ve lived life for the whole 21 years! I fear life, its more than a challenge and articulate to me, then just a simple or a complicated one. I’v not learnt the whole lotta things you people may boast about, But i sure have had my share of bucket full of tears. In every moment, the memoirs of my tiny dark and pointless life has taught me well. Though I may not be the perfect me,(I may never be), i’ve had quiet a share of life with so many beautiful people. They still surround me! I’m just too forced to live a life of reality. What would a butterfly effect have me for? How many chances can I get? With every mistakes I make, I cant revolve around time, and get to the best part of life. One day! Its the best day of my life, the next! everything, simply everything goes wrong. Tears have a wonderful share and are piece of me. They never ever leave me! They are the best friends I ever got.Talking about the people, i’ve had quiet an experience with them! Every one were differnt, everyone were a Gem! They taught me everything that I am today, to be careful and not get a “gem” again. They taught me the reality of life with a person. The emotions and the feelings all combined together to get a mix of every hint of facture. the authority they bestowed upon me! taught how me to live, to be the boss and get what i wanted. they never interfered. I’ve had the share and the opportunity to learn and study the personality disorders they all possessed, not quiet sure about whether they were the one with the disorder or ME!?? Till date, I regret!! So guess I must be the mental here! I’ve actually not felt the hunger and the emotion of a real person, the need and the want were always the same fact to me!! they never separated, something many people make a difference about. I get emotional at times. And till then I held my hands, my palms my only friend that helps me shed away all my tears, and teach me to carry on living, cause nothing is as fine untill you have your necessity Full ON. So live ON! Giving up. Is something i tired a thousand times, but rising is something i never forgot after that thousand times, and I m still going ON.